This is what I have to say to Andy's cancer

Sorry if that offends anyone, but that's nothing compared to how I'm really feeling inside. Not quite lady like of me, but i suppose I'm not too concerned with that right now. And i hope everyone read the title before they saw the photo, because the flick off is to the cancer, and NOT to you. . .obviously!

But can we all take a moment to flick off the cancer?

Ready. . . .One, two, three. . . . . . .did you do it?

Ummm, felt good didn't it?

We've had a rough day as we've learned the pathology results. It's still all gonna be fine and we'll get through this, but Mrs. Positivity has turned to Mrs. Pissed Off, and I guess that's just the ebb and flow of these emotions so we have accepted that and allow the fear, the anger, the questioning, and then eventually, back to the acceptance and positivity that this will all be OK but is gonna be a hell of a ride.

His cancer is a Stage 3 and is in 5 of his lymphnodes. Like I said yesterday, this doesn't have too much effect how we would have proceeded anyway, but he will definitely have chemo starting in a few weeks and that will last for 6 months. Of course it's not what we wanted to hear (a 2 would have just been better). But what really gets me and what is so scary in all of this cancer crap, is that it's just so new to us and we don't know what to expect or what we'll hear from the doctors (they tend to just wake us up in the morning with these details-good morning!) and what's considered normal as far as treatment and afterwards. . . for example, this morning we learned the probability of it coming back since it is at a Stage 3. Sucks to hear that sort of detail, especially before a cup of damn coffee. Again, any rain on my parade, hate it! My parade is Andy, so you get my point. This isn't about me and much more about the hero, but I'm obviously effected and just sortof down on the whole ordeal. Hence, the flick off and the pouting, and i'm so allowed and just processing.

The 5 year hooray (which again, I didn't really understand before), is because there is a period of time where it could reoccur and we will be constantly doing routine check ups to make sure it hasn't come back and if it has, we deal with it immediately.

Let's put it this way. . . there is a 70% chance that it WILL NOT reoccur with chemo, and after 5 years of the percentage fear and checkups, then we're gonna freakin party, cause that's when he will be considered "cancer free". We all know how fast 5 years can go, and we'll all be pros at praying by then, cause we got to keep them prayers coming, in whatever form you prefer, just keep those vibrations coming for the next 5 years. This is just emotionally draining and incredibly unfair, but I'm gonna take a deep breath and fill the next paragraph or two with positivity, because mind over matter-I swear, I know it's more than half of this battle.

I think the 70% is some standardized statistic with the biopsy of Andy's kind of tumor and what was effected around it, etc., but I guarantee the statistic is not taking into account how YOUNG and HEALTHY is is. So in this paragraph, I am back to the attitude that I choose to maintain, that he and we will fight this to make sure it doesn't come back. Simple as that. We will do everything in our power to beat it coming back, with nutrition and research and check ups and healthy lifestyles, and mainly love and faith. Period.

Let me repeat, he's Andy freakin Dutlinger and he's gonna fight this off like noones business. He's just good like that.

AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh!

Signing off,

Meredith Dutlinger