A Perfect Recipe

I'm sure all of you saw Andy's blog from earlier today "Can you Reprogram Your Mind?"

I thought everyone's response was so great, with so much truth in every answer (most of the time there is never just ONE right answer). I've given it alot of thought today too, and this is what I've come up with. . .

Now I'm talking to you Ando, and I think this sweetheart. I think, all this emotion and what's happening in your mind, I think it’s mostly just about acceptance. Or maybe, that's the best FIRST step.

We are all made of these things. . . physical and emotional things, that make us who we are. I guarantee none of us want you to change A THING about yourself, cause you are Andy and we all think you are the SHIT (ha ha-had to throw one more ass joke in there).

From my own personal therapy (which we spent some good money on honey, you might as well reap the benefits too now!), what I learned was that you can’t change the way you feel-you can only work on the way you react to it! To change the way you feel as an instinctual individual is too much pressure, too much work, and not fair to you and your emotional being.

Who are you? You are awesome! You are strong and stubborn, will-powered and determined, goal oriented and a go-getter, young and healthy, happy and vivacious . . . you are not 100% any one thing (optimist or pessimist or realist or lalalandish-who is really all of anything anyway?) You are the combination of exactly what you are made of, it’s the perfect recipe to kick this thing! I just know it in my heart and in my taste buds.

I say be scared if you feel scared! Feel “realistic” if your emotions are choosing to listen to those standardized "realistic” statistics that it could come back! Feel angry or grateful or whatever you feel. I promise to do the same. Your dad and I had a great talk about that today, that it's just normal and just expected to feel all these things. What you and I will become pros at though, is working through it by processing it and not subduing it if it's some negative thought that is getting in our way, and then learning how to smash it into the ground. (You know I'm always up for some off-the-wall ritualistic celebration for smashing it into the ground, so let me know if you want me to go that far. If not, let's just calmly work through it). Let's work through every emotion until you feel again, naturally and without force, that you're 2,000% gonna fight this and win it!

What I also learned in therapy, is with time and practice, you just begin to react differently without effort, without force! You literally teach yourself, without even realizing it, exactly how you want to be and react! It's so cool!

I think everyone's advice to you is precious and let's do it all. Our friends and family are wise and have some incredible advice that should be practiced and taken seriously, cause they know what's up in life! But I know we all agree, please don't try to change yourself, because you are one of a kind and i think you are perfect just the way you are. Enhance your reactions, but please don't struggle to change who you are.

"You literally rehearse the future in your head, and you see yourself acting in a new way. You take yourself through it safely and comfortably in your mind, over and over again. Soon it doesn't feel like new behavior at all. It feels like something you routinely do. . .the process of repeatedly seeing yourself behave in a certain way is called visualization. . .." Lou Tice (I have no idea who he is, but i just always loved that quote)

It's funny, I just searched through my closets to find this quote that I received and certainly saved from boulder county (we used to get inspirational quotes to our email every morning). I used to read it over and over when I quit smoking 11 months ago. I knew i remembered the word and concept "visualization" from somewhere when we busted it out a week ago during your pain- you see Ando!!! we were already practicing it!

We can do this babe! Together, we will do this! Mind over matter, but LOVE conquers all.