The Long Road.

Well, I've spent my first night home from Tubeville and it feels so great. I call it tubeville b/c i've never knew so many tubes could be connected to me at one time. basically, they go into most every hole you've already got (yes) and the rest they make holes for. not cool. I was so sick of them i can't tell you. Not to mention being woken up every few hours by a nurse or a beeping IV (needs refill) or the screaming lady next door to me. yes, she screamed the whole four days more or less. Not a good way to comfort other guests, for sure. I remember waking up that first night hearing her screaming "help me" over and over and having this mini-panic attack. Of course, she was totally mentally instable and i quickly picked up that she yelled to just yell, altho she was in pretty horrid shape. All in all, my first trip to the hospital was an awful one, as most everyone is in pretty bad shape there. I guess I was for a day or two, as well, but being young and strong and determined helped me beat that quickly. You quickly realize on a surgical recovery floor that everyone is pretty f-d up and pale and gross, and i was not gonna let myself be one of them.
I'm not gonna rehash the details of the stay, as mere did a pretty good job at keepin you guys informed, but it pretty much sucked. the fam and mere were true lifesavers, as i would have freaked out in there by myself. mere truly stuck by my side, literally, the whole time. she slept every night in a recliner by my bed, and altho i told her she should go home and sleep, i was soooooo glad to open my eyes and see her there. It made me less scared, even tho i was still always scared. I also feel bad tho, b/c that first night after surgery was a rough one where they couldnt figure out the right drugs to keep my numb and i was in a LOT of pain. it was exrcuciating. i was paralyzed with pain, but she was there by my side helping me, altho i know it scared the crap out of her. she is such a trooper and i am so lucky so to have her as a teamate.
so, you all also know i have to now heal, then go to chemo for 6 months. after that its all about me keeping this shit out of me for 5 years, then i should be good to go. I can do that. I know I can.
I'm currently laying on my couch watching football, enjoying mere and my dad and mere's mom. Mere's mom goes home today, and my dad will hang out some more this week to help while i get back on my feet, then we should be good to go. I'm so lucky to have them to help and all of you to help too. you DO realize all the good thougths you sent got me healed and out of the hospital a day early, don't you? well, it did. So, now, do the same w/ the crap not coming back for five years and there is no doubt it will abide by such mass thoughts. Also, thx to everyone for books, mags, games, etc, etc. It all means a lot to me. There will be more personal thank you's in the near future, but I'm still kinda weak to get into all that soon...
Which reminds me- visitors. I think i'll be up for visitors real soon. Maybe a few days. I'll keep you all posted on that, as i can't wait to see you all. I nixed hospital visitors b/c i just was not feeling good and it was way too creepy there.
Ok, gonna take a break for a sec, but as i'm sitting on this here couch for a while to come, i'll keep you all abreast of what's goin down.