I've been talking with my Dad and Mere a lot lately (seeing as how i'm basically on home arrest). See, I've always been a realist (maybe painfully so for Mere); I like to be prepared of all the options and possiblities in any situation. But here, with this situation, I need to be an optimist. Big time. So many people tell me that the positive attitude, KNOWING it won't come back, that's what keeps it away. I know I'm prob looking at some sort of counseling here, but I'm wondering how you change your mindset from how you've always been to a new way of thinking? I know I HAVE to do it, or I otherwise always live in fear, but man, it just seems so hard. Staying optimisitic is easy, but losing that part of me that always says "well, it COULD come back" is gonna be a task. I know I can do it, but it'll be a new way of thinking for ol' Andy.
13 comments:
I will try my best to keep you in my la la land. It's more fun there!
Andy, you can totally reprogram the mind! That's what I do for a living (well, sort of). I can introduce you to some good tips if you want...
As for the positivity, there are only positive thoughts coming from Alabama. We are thinking of you and Mere and sending our love.
Ash and Joe
Well one thing I would say is watch a shitload of comedy flicks. This may sound silly but laughter is crucial for optimism and positive mental attitudes. And you can be in the worst moods and some line from a movie or comedian will pop in your head and you have no choice but to laugh. Seriously - there are laughter cults in India based around group laughter and spiritual growth. (seriously)
my two cents..
rob
I too am a realist Andy, much to Brad's dismay (and sometimes my own). What you need to keep clear in your mind is that because of your age, strength and support the reality of conquering this is totally in your favor. Sure it's gonna be a fight, but you are on the good side of the odds for sure...for REAL! No smack talk here.
You know, you may not need to "reprogram" your mind, just "repurpose" it; reinvent it as a tool for conscious healing.
I would suggest some investigation into the writings/teachings of Ram Dass. "Be Here Now" is a classic that still resonates with me 15 years after my first read. "Grist for the Mill" got me through some really hard times and "Still Here" is a good one on the psychological ripples created by change and aging. I could go on, but maybe just dig in for yourself. Here's his site:
http://www.ramdass.org/
Keep on keeping on, brother!
Ask Timothy Leary.
Andy, maybe a good approach is to stay in touch with both the realist and the optimist within. It seems to me that it is all about how we react to our dynamic emotions that ultimately determines our success. So, let's just channel it all in the same direction and feel good about that. Keeping it real is not easy but you know what they say...ain't nothing like the real thing baby!
And by the way Meredith, it is always fun to hang out with you in la la land!
Andy and Mere...I know you are my kiddos, but you are also my heros. Andy, there is nothing wrong with your mindset if the last week is any indication of what you're made of. Keep up the good work...read some good stuff (good suggestions, Patrick) and let your family and friends continue to love and support you along the way. I am so proud of you both. Hey, and curl up in Peg's cozy couchdress while you read that inspirational stuff. Love you...
i love being in la la land with mere! shes a good one to keep you company!
all kinds of love-
jules
optimist or pessimist? Not 100% of either, a mix of both... after all you are a Taureus, and well, we are realists. But, truly Be Here Now each and every day... great reading suggestion.. and,do the glass half full idea. A patient of mine (breast cancer 15 yrs ago), now in her 70's once told me" My strength is my outlook... I take each day for the gift it is. " So, rainy or sunny... enjoy the day.
love,LeeLee
ps. 10cc of LaaLaaland girls medicine wont hurt!
Andy, with not being able to even imagine what u are going through I suggest this. Take every day as it comes and always look and say that it could be much worse than it is. I also believe that faith is something that can conquer all. In time of need and struggle the lord is always there to give u courage through even the toughest of times in life.
I have in the recent months just found this out for myself. I KNOW u are going to beat this thing and in 5 years u will look back and see how strong u and Mere have become. I also like Rob's idea of watchin a lot of comedy. ya bro, Matt
Andy....I believe in reprogramming your brain fo sure! I trust that you will be able to conquer the physcial, emotional and spiritual battles that you are facing. Each day is a gift and finding the beauty in it will only create positivity. Another great book...The Miracle of Mindfulness. And, don't be afraid to "talk" to the cancer. Let that shit KNOW that it IS NOT WELCOME....you are not its host! Believe, trust and look for guidance all around you! And, live in the moment! Much easier said than done, i struggle with this. We support you~ Sara, Pete and Piper
WTF??? The Dawgs did look like poop this weekend! they obviously forgot to showup to kick ass!
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