Sir Issac Friendington

Man, just saw like 20+ or so of my oldest, dearest, tightest friends last night. Boy, does THAT feel good.

I know this is a terrible comparison, but: you forget you comfy your old shoes are until you put them on and tread around a bit. When you finally slip then on and feel the framiliar old fit, you remember why you always wore them, why the were always your favorite.

Forget how much I miss you guys. What a good time.

"you look good"

That seems to be first thing everyone says when they see me. Guess they all picture a pale, bald, feeble guy w/ tubes protruding from orifices. Well, I look pretty normal- for me. I'm never THAT normal, but you know. Aside from minor hair loss (no one seeems to think there is any, but i can tell) I'm basically the same ol' guy...just sporting some metal pieces under the skin in my chest.

Anyway, so far, the trip's been so great. We did xmas eve at mere's mom's, a brief sesh at my mom's on xmas morn, then xmas night at dad's. Then yesterday we did xmas again w/ mere's dad at her sister's house, so we had 4 kids running about and mere's g-ma there, too. It was chaos (we are SOOOO not used to 2-7 yr old kids FIRED up about xmas) but so much fun. We laughed a lot about the kids reactions to opening presents (they were so pumped, it was hilarious) and also laughed about how we were so tired after just an evening w/ those kids. After I've had to examine my own mortality as of late, I've realized there's a lot of things in life i wanna do that i haven't yet, including kids. Of course we have to wait until after chemo and get settled more, but it's funny how it sounds so good, then you spend an evening w/ four of them and it acts as birth control. Comical.

So, we will hopefully see my mom's sis and her fam and her mom (gramma!) tonight, and after that, we'll have seen 30 family members in 4 days. Full schedule. Been great tho- we sure miss everyone. And, we haven't even seen a single friend yet!

FYI

Colon=large intestine.

seems a lot of folks have not known that, and it seems to be a big question everyone asks me. Colon is simply a fancy name for large intestine. Another thing- surgery for this is in your stomach, not your ass.

Guess what?

4 down. thats what.

this one was a lot easier than the last, so that's GOOD action. Cannot wait to hit the GA scene in just a few days, and really feeling jovial about it being xmas. Very much looking forward to seeing my family and friends and hugging a lot of you in person that have only been hugging me over the internet, phone and letter. Gon' be good.

Also just want to thank my place of biz, Sukle Advertising, for being so good to me. Not only did they really take care of me thru all the cancer shi*t, but they gave us all the week of the holidays off- YAY! Super cool place to work...I'm lucky in that sense.

I love it when

there's a simpsons on that i've never seen.

4 way

well, numero 4 started today. my good friends tingly fingers and prickly throat action are back to hang out. i'm sure pukish urges are just around the corner, but i guess i'm happy to be moving onwards. owards and upwards as they say, whoever they are.

I have been battling a cold lately, but i learned that my immune system that battles colds is unaffected by the chemo, so that was refreshing. It more deals with the immune system that battles infections. I was super nervous that they would maybe not want to treat me if I was sick, but they didnt have any issues w/ it. It's good, b/c i was scared it'd mess my sched up and I'd not be able to come home for xmas. So, I'm on the up and up, as the cold is seemingly fading, and refreshing to know my immune system will fight the colds that float around during the winter w/ the same skills it always has. Another bonus tidbit of info: dont have get that neulasta bone marrow shot this week! My white blood cell counts are way way highter than last time so I'm all good for the trip back to GA over the holidays. I won't mind missing out on the pain the shot gives me, that's for sure.

Sometimes

I go hours and hours without even thinking about cancer or chemotherapy (in the ends of these off treatment weeks). It's huge progress and really sweet since it pretty much dominates your life when you first find out about it.

thoughts on abandonment.

What do you people think about Pettino? Personally, I don't blame the guy. His handling of the situation was def WEAK SAUCE, but the falcs scene is so beat down, with Vick and all, I'm sure any coach woulda bailed.

Last year I had the NFL ticket and could see all the Falcons games- and was fired up about it. This year, i've only seen the pathetic monday night games...and notice the spirit is gone. Both in the players, and the fans (me). I'm wondering why we all are so complacent in Atlanta. Here in Denver, the Broncos could be going 0-8 and Invesco is sold out, everyone going nuts in religious support. The worst part is I find myself paying attention to the Donkeys only b/c ATL is so terrible. God, I'm bandwagon sometimes.

Anyway, just was wondering what people are thinking. I hear rumors of Bill Cowher...I say bring on that mean-ass scowl.

This is so wrong (but damn funny):

WHY CYCLISTS SHOULD WEAR BLACK PANTS

If you've ever lived in Boulder, you'll know that its REQUIRED that you wear tight pants and a matching logo-laden shirt EVERY time you ride your fancy multi-speed race bike.

Quotes that make you go hmmmmmmmm

I just took a stress management class offered by Boulder County. I love my job and that I get paid to attend these classes. (The love for my job is a whole other blog.)

Holiday season seems to be a common time for stress. STRESS can come from What to buy? Who to buy presents for? Where are the decorations? Where to celebrate? With what side of the family? What time do we need to be there to fit it all in?

Did you know that there is an 85% association between stress and disease? I often wonder if stress is caused somewhat by the pressure of our modern American society to DO DO DO and GO GO GO and BE BE BE, with less time to do it all and more pressure and competition, in comparison with other countries/cultures/generations/societies/ways of thinking. I am guilty, regardless. I get stressed (not limited to the holidays however, i'm just tend to try to do and go and be beyond what's comfortable). You?

The fellow who taught the seminar says that STRESS emotions derive from ANGER and FEAR.

Quotes that make you go hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. It made my brain hurt trying to pinpoint the timeline of my stress over the last 31 years to just anger and fear. Can stress really be derived from just those two emotions? Typically I would fall off the face of this earth comtemplating such deep thoughts, but I chose to shake it off and pay attention to the seminar. I took notes, so please use them for what they are worth!

This is what I learned:

"Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are."
(Chinese proverb of some sort).
"You should put a limit on BMW (bitching moaning whining). Tiny amounts are good and healthy, but then you have to get on with your life."
"Anger is usually caused by unmet expectations. You have to learn to fine tune or adjust your expectations."
"He who angers you, conquers you." Elizabeth Kenny

My take on all of this, specifically for the holidays, is don't let Santa conquer you.

Happy Holidays people! Enjoy it!

woop woop, partytime.

much props to all involved with this- esp the mugs in the bands. Can't wait to drum up some $ for cancer- gon be fun to help some folks out with this.

so, here's the link to the evite for the cancer show. Pls pass around to whoever you can think of. I"ll be forwarding the link via email, too, so pre-apologies if you get a heads up multiple times.

This kid is ready for a cold brewski with you all at this event.

Back in the highlife again

Whew. Finally back. I find around saturday afternoon I start to notice a spring in my step, and Mere, too, starts to ask how I'm feeling, as she can also see a different look in my eye.

It's good to be back. This weeks round was particularly rough for me, so am real pumped to get past the 'green' days this time.

So, first real snow last night (not tons, but 4-5 inches, enough to totally cover all grass), and we got up real early and took the dogs to the park. I wish our camera wasn't outta juice when we got there, b/c Mere and I realized seeing two old dogs bust fresh tracks in new snow, while going all out for tennis ball fetch, is truly a satisfying event. Love seeing them splash about and just bound thru the pristine snow. Acting like puppies is a big deal for two old dogs, and there's something so soothing about watching them get first tracks. Just feels good.

If I were a caveman.

Not sure why, but I started to think bout how amazing modern medicine is. If I were alive in prehistoric times, if I was a caveman, I'd not live to see 40. Without question, my cancer would have spread throughout my body, and not knowing much beyond spearing small dinosaurs for dinner and rubbing sticks together for fire (and of course, dragging Mere around by her hair), I would have succumb. No other options, really.

Now, sometimes I curse medicine. Towards the end of these treatments, I curse this crap in my body, wonder how the hell I can endure this again in two weeks, and again two after. (Etc, etc.) I like to think I can sympathize with a guy from a shipwreck...dragging himself onto the beach- freeling pretty beat down and bedraggled; flogged.

Anyway, just thought I'd mention that even tho I curse this crap I deal with on pretty regular basis, I also realize it's what will keep my alive, hopefully for a long long time. It's no wonder Dr.s get paid so much- they and all of medicine is truly amazing. When you think about it like the caveman scenario, it's pretty humbling, really. Amazing and damn scary, if you're me. Either way, I'm glad to be alive today, glad to get another morning next to my lovely wife, another scratch of doggies, and even kinda glad to go attempt another very challenging day of working and trying not to throw up on myself. kidding, bout the throwing up on myself. sort of.

new day, new drug

Well, I made it thru day one, and of course, the tingly fingers are back. I should learn to make friends with them, right?

Got another dose of sobering news today. The chemo drugs are not discriminating in their hunting down and killing of cells, so they not only kill cancer cells, but the hematocrit in your blood, your red cells and the ever important, disease fighting, white blood cells.

Once you get 'plugged in' at chemo, they first suck your blood out of the port and test your cell counts before they treat you. At a certain low cell count, they'll give you a 'chemo holiday', which is a week off, to allow you to regenerate more cells. Or, they'll lower your doseage. Neither are good options: both diminish your effectiveness of treatment.

Well, my white blood count is already low (not good for flu season). Just barely but low. So, rather than do either of the afformentioned options, they give you another drug. Oh, yes! , another drug. This one is a shot called Neulasta. I get it 24 hours after treatment and it supposedly stimulates your bone marrow- where your white (and all) blood cells are created, and hopefully more good cells get made. This all sounds well and good, but this shot does have a few side effects (of course) and is spendy (1000$ or more per shot...thanks, Anthem Blue Cross Blue Shield). The main side effect is bone pain (heh, heh. he said 'bone'). I'm not thrilled about 'bone pain' (heh, heh heh heh), but guess I should be semi-happy to be getting another 'scrip for pain pills.

oh, well, another day, another drug.

3 is a magic number

Here we go folks.

I'm noticing i barely posted anything in the last week, and that's simply a testament to how good I've felt. 2-3 days after the treatment, the sickness pretty much fades. Aside from the tingly fingers/hands, it's totally gone. Then tingly thing gets way less severe, too, so I'm able to go outside and do normal things (it's instigated by cold). I'm thinking I'll even be snowboarding on the off weekends just before I go back in for a treatment.

So, I now am beginning the day that begins treatment number 3. I reminisce back on my last week and realize how nice the week off is. Keeps you sane, lets you forget what really is going on. There were moments, even hours, where I completely forgot I'm a cancer patient going thru chemotherapy. I was so wrapped up in working hard (it's REAL busy at work right now) and playing hard, too (jamming with the boyz been good lately) that I sometimes find myself all giddy about the weekend coming up before I realize that the weekend siginifies being way close to going back in for treatment. It's a real bittersweet-type situation for me. But, the positive here is that I'm feeling so good, living so 'normally', that I am completely forgetting my ordeal sometimes- and THAT is a huge step for me. To finally NOT have this 'thing' pervade my every thought is the first step to getting back to my life before this all began.

Well, here I go, off to work for the morning then back home to gather my wife and head up to get the needle put back in. It's a daunting thought, at this point, as I know i'm about to suffer thru the next 4 or 5 days, but another notch off the long list of days left in the chemo life. I hope to go bury myself in work until it's time to come home for the treatment...maybe not think about it for the morning. We're working on anti-chew/tobacco/alcohol for the state of Wyoming, so the concepting sessions been fun lately, and hoping for that again today (We presented some anti-chew ideas yesterday, and surprisingly they loved them all- even ones with somewhat abrasive lines like "clean up your chew hole". Love good clients who understand that you have to talk like kids when your're talking TO them)>

Aight, let's get this party started.......

Hawaii

I thought, for a brief few moments, last night that there was suddenly a chance for us to play in the nat'l championship. Somehow, instead we play hawaii. It will be fun to give them a loss and all, but def anything but the Big game was gonna be a bit of a bummer when you are ranked 4 and number 1 and 2 both lose: you think you're suddenly number 2 and busting a serious championship move. But, due to not playing, you're penalized, moved back a spot, and teams that played that week and won jump in front of you. NO, you're not number 2, you're now number five (you moved down w/out even losing).

Weak sauce, my friends, weak sauce.